Thursday, August 7, 2014
Grief
It's been 2 1/2 months since my Dad passed away and I feel no more at peace than I did 2-3 months ago. My Dad was my most trusted advisor. He was one of the only 2 people in this world (Chris being the 2nd) that I truly talked to about everything. I could go to him for advise on everything from my kids, my mom, and career. He never tried to sway me to take his advice, but always simply told me what he thought and his reasons behind it. He was one of my best friends. And now...he's gone. The worst days are Monday - Thursday. I am so used to emailing him all day and calling him on my drive home. Even still...I have to fight the urge to call him and I still finding myself emailing him, even though I know he won't respond. I'm hoping at some point I'll adjust to this "new normal".
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I am so sorry you are experiencing all of this terrible pain. The first year is truly the worst. Every season brings on new reminders of loss and memories specific to that season. For a long time, I dreaded Monday simply because my dad & I had a standing lunch date on Monday; or the smell of chlorine from my parents pol in the summer brought the same ache. You will adjust, you will get used to, you will adapt; but it will never feel normal. I am so sorry; please take comfort that all the confusing feelings and emotions are real and something you should absorb fully...even when it is so hard. I'm so sorry.
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