Cheese

Do-able bucket list

My ultimate bucket list involves a lot of time and money--neither of which we have. It also involves a lot of travel, which is not fun with a 3 year old and 16 month old. So, this is my short-term, do-able bucket list.

1. Get my hair and make-up done by the girls of Jerseylicious (specifically Gigi and Olivia). I'm totally hooked on that show and I love them. I just want to sit, drink wine, and gossip with them.

2. Eat at Bobby Flay's restaurant in Atlantic City. I'm obsessed with Bobby Flay. I don't think he's hot or even really attractive, but I love his personality. He's humble and gracious and really funny. Plus, his food looks amazing.

3. Go up in the Washington Monument. I'm asshamed to say I've lived in MD/VA my entire life and I work within walking distance of the monument and have never been inside.

4. Go up in the Statue of Liberty. Again, been to NYC so many times, yet I never make the time.

5. Host a girls night out soon at the local winery with wine and the new fondue set that Santa had better bring me for Christmas.

work

I never used to want to be a stay at home mom. I like my job. I like interacting with adults and feeling like I'm doing something useful and accomplishing something. I like helping people, but recently, I've been really wishing I could stay home with the kids. I miss them. Mia is in "preschool", but I feel like I could do so much with Paxton. I'm grateful that he is with my mom, but there are so many things I need to work on with him, especially with his food/texture issues. It is so frustrating that I don't have the time to really put into helping him they way that I would like. I get home just in time to make dinner. Sometimes, my mom has already fed him because it's late and he is hungry. I'm jealous of those moms who get to have play dates during the day. I guess on the flip side, maybe they are jealous too? I work so that I can afford to do things with my kids and take them places. I work so that we can afford our house. Hopefully, this tradeoff will pay off someday.

Happy Monday...

Ok, not really. Today my cell phone alarm did not go off so I only had 5 minutes to get dressed, brush my teeth and hair, and run out the door (I'm in a carpool). I get to the van and notice the interior light was on all night. Still hopeful, I turn the key, but no luck. Battery is dead.
So...here's hoping today gets better and....hoping Santa brings me an IPhone for Christmas.

I'm back....

So, it's been a while since I've last posted. I thought writing would help, but I guess I just found it too hard to write most of this month. September is a hard month for me. It's hard to celebrate the birth of my beautiful and amazing little girl; while at the same time, mourning the loss of her twin brother. Sometimes it is more than I can take. I am better now though and back to my old self. The Happy Birthday song still gets me everytime, but I'm not quite the basketcase I was 2 weeks ago.
So, moving on....this Friday, Chris and I will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary! We celebreated last weekend by spending our 1st night together away from the kids. I had forgotten how wonderful uninterrupted sleep can be! I felt so refreshed. I was more patient. It was amazing. While I hate to wish the "baby/toddler" phase away as I know time flies as it is, I am definitely looking forward to getting back to some serious sleeping.

Bittersweet Party

I have no idea how I made it through Mia's birthday party yesterday without bursting into tears. There were definitely hidden tears shed, but I survived. I was so happy to see Mia so excited, but the Happy Birthday song totally breaks my heart. Thankfully, one more week until her birthday and hopefully, I will be back to normal and not an emotional basket case.

The Selfish and the Selfless

Yesterday, I was humbled by the selflessness of one family and realized how truly selfish I am. In most situations, I think..."how does this affect me and my family?" or "what about me?" I think of others, but I always feel sorry for myself. When Paxton was sick, I felt sorry for me. When I lost Parker, I felt sorry for me. Not to say that I shouldn't, but there are so many other people in worse situations! WHat about them?
In case you didn't know, I volunteer as a wish granter for the Make a Wish foundation. Yesterday, I met a family who was truly self-less. I'll call them "The Smiths". They adopted a little girl almost 10 years ago. They adopted her, knowing that she was sick with a rare brain disorder. They were told she wouldn't live to see her first birthday, but now she is almost 10! It's amazing. But....that said, she is a lot of work. She can't walk, she's blind, she can't communicate, and so on. Her family has given up everything. They almost never spend time together as they have to work different shifts in order to properly care for her. They are truly a selfless family and I am amazed by their strength and love. I have a lot to learn.