Dear Mia

Dear Mia,
You are 5 today.  I can't believe it.  I guess what they say is true...time flies when you are having fun.  I could not be more proud of you.  You are absolutely amazing.   I could sit here all day and list things that I love about you, but I'll just tell you what I love the most....and that is your heart.  You are so caring and so loving.  You are generous with your hugs and kisses, even to your little brother.  You care about everyone and you treat everyone with kindness.  I love that you are quick to make friends and welcome new kids (especially at school).  There are so many days when you've told me how you helped someone up on the playground or hugged them when they were sad at school.  That makes me so happy.  I am raising you to fight for the underdog and never ever be a mean girl.  I want you to be kind to everyone--and treat them with love and respect.  I am so proud to see that you already do that. 

Ok, so now...a little about you.  You adore your brother.  He is your best friend.  Your other best friends are Ella and Peyton, though you do not see them as much as they started kindergarten this year.  Your favorite color is pink, but you also love purple and blue.  You love Disney princesses, Sofia the 1st, Barbie, and Jake and the Neverland Pirates.  You also love animals (mainly cats, dogs, and horses).  Your favorite songs are:  Driftaway (yes, the song from the 80's or 90's) and Cups (from pitch perfect). You also like Call me Maybe (though you call it:  call me baby).  Oh, and let's not forget the Zak Brown Band.  You know every word to Chicken Fried and you sing it....loudly, every time we are in the jeep.  You love to play and you love to pretend.  You and Pax play house a lot.  You also pretend to me cats or dogs sometimes.  You love having tea parties and playing hide and seek.  You also make up your own games.  You have a very good imagination. 

Mia, I worry about you.  You are also very sensitive.  You talk about Parker daily, even when we haven't.  I love that you remember him and think of him, but it also makes me worry about you and how this has affected you.  You ask about death a lot...ways you can die, when we will die, etc.  The other night, you told me to give Parker a hug for you when I die.  I don't know what to do with that.  It makes me happy and sad at the same time.  I try to be reassuring and honest at the same time.  We've talked about death, Heaven, and Hell.  You aren't really afraid, just more curious.  I'm hoping this is a phase that will pass.  I hope that you always think of Parker and remember him, but I don't want you to be upset or sad.  I try to remind you...he is happy.  He is so happy and he is always watching you.  There is no need to be sad or wonder if he is ok.  He is.  I hope someday, you read this and find it reassuring and know that we are doing everything we can to help you through this while being as open and honest as possible.  I hope you also know, you can come to me with anything.  I will always be there to help you.

Lastly, I want you to know how much we love you.  You are so special.  You make me smile and laugh every single day.  You have brought me happiness that I never thought possible.  I am so grateful that God gave you to us. 
I love you forever,
Mommy