In March 2009, when Mia was 6 months old, we decided to start trying again. Losing Parker had left a major whole in my heart. I knew another baby would not fill it, but I desperately wanted 2 babies in our home. We decided to try on our own for a few months before doing IVF again and guess what happened???? The first month of trying, I got pregnant! I could not believe our luck! Dr's told us it was only a 2% chance of this ever happening. We were so happy.
During this time, we also decided to plan a trip to NY to visit Chris's family. Chris's grandmother was 96 at the time and had never met Mia. We wanted to make sure that she got the chance too as I know traveling at that age is not easy. We decided to go visit her for Mother's Day.
On a side note, when we found out I was pregnant, we decided not to tell anyone (except Chris's brother and sister, and my mom).
At 6 weeks, we went in for my first Dr's appt. Everything was perfect. We even got to see and hear the baby's heart beat. It was amazing. I left feeling on top of the world. Two weeks later, at 8 weeks, my world came crashing down for a 2nd time.
I went back to the Dr for my 8 week ultra sound and unfortunately, this time, no heartbeat was detected.
We were devastated.
The next day, we decided to stick with our original plan and head to NY. Although I felt horrible, I realized it was also important to take Mia to meet her Great Grandmother (and afterall--we had not told the family). I also thought this might be a good distraction for us and in many ways...it was. Since that weekend, Mothers Day has become an especially difficult holiday for me. While it is a reminder of the sweet babies that I have lost, I also want to make sure that I celebrate the amazing children I do have with me.
I am so grateful for Mia and Paxton. They have brought such joy and love into our home and make me smile each and every day.
I am so sorry to hear about all of this :(
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