You're gonna do whaaaaat?

So, after months of my Dr. pressuring me, I finally got up the courage to go for a consultation for a colonoscopy.  Yes, I am younger than the typical patient, but I have a history of colon cancer and polyps and have a few other "symptoms" as well.  I've been putting it off for over a year now, but after my Dad's recent colon cancer surgery, my New Years Resolution was to get it done and not be such a chicken. 
So, today I met with a super nice Dr who immediately put me at ease.  My appointment isn't until May, but I am putting a positive spin on this.  I'm viewing this as a cleanse and a quick weight loss fix to get me ready for bathing suit season.  This may gross you out, but I like to make light of situations that make me totally uncomfortable.  So, for your reading pleasure.....here are some jokes about Colonoscopy's. 

Three men met at a party, and it wasn’t long until the conversation got around to their line of work and what kinds of cars they drove.  “I’m a veterinarian,” said the first fellow.  “So, naturally, I drive a white ‘Vet.”
As they smiled and nodded, the second man said, “I own a sign company, so I Drive a purple Neon.”
Now the third guy was suddenly quiet until he was egged on by the other two.  “Well,” he finally admitted, “I’m a gastroenterologist…and I have a brown Probe.”

A gastroenterologist claims these are actual comments made by patients during colonoscopy:
• “Take it easy, doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.”
• “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”
• “Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?”
• “Are we there yet?”
• “Can you hear me now?”

A man went in for a colonoscopy.  The gastroenterologist examined him, and then turned him onto his side to begin the procedure.
The doc immediately noticed a large piece of lettuce protruding from the gentleman’s posterior.
“Sir,” she said, “did you know that you have lettuce hanging out of your bottom?”
“Yes,” replied the man, “but that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”