I Hate New Years

New Years Eve should be a happy time for me.  That is the night I got engaged to the love of my life; however, in 2008 my world got flipped upside down.  If you follow my blog, then you know that is the year I lost my first son, Parker.  I was numb for a long time.  I could function, but I don't think I could fully comprehend what had happened until months later.  Unfortunately, it hit me on New Years and it has never been the same. 
On December 31, 2008 we invited some friends to join us for my brother in law's New Years Eve party.  It was supposed to be a fun night.  They had a new baby boy that was only a week younger than Mia.  They decided to carpool to the party with us.  That's when it hit me.  When I saw the carseats together--like they had been before the babies were born--I lost it.  To make matters worse, both babies were crying.  All I could think was...they should be my babies crying.  Not mine and someone else's.  That is the moment that my world came crashing down. The rush of emotions hit me like a freight train.  When the clock struck midnight, everyone cheered and kissed and I burst into tears.  That time will now forever signify to me....another year without my son.  Another year without my precious baby. 
As you are celebrating with your loved ones this year, I ask that you take a minute to just be thankful.  Be thankful they are here to celebrate with you.  Hug them a little tighter.  And maybe....just take a second to send up a prayer for those of us who are still mourning that we cannot celebrate with everyone that we love.  Not just me...but those families in CT, and families whose children are in the hospital suffering...or whoever you may know personally. 
Be safe and have a Happy New Year